Monday, August 10, 2009

Living with Cancer, Dying with Insurance


I am turning thirty in a few days, but I have had cancer for ten years. I went for my regular test at Sloan-Kettering a month ago, and I thought to myself over and over before submitting to the general anesthesia, "All I want for my thirtieth birthday is a clean scan. Good news, good news, good new--" and that's where I stop remembering. When I came to, four hours later, some part of my brain was still repeating "Good news good news good news." But I was wrong.

I don't exactly know why I can live and thrive with cancer, but am reduced to such unadulterated fear when it comes to maintaining my insurance coverage. Having cancer? I've been brave and strong and fierce. Losing the only way to maintain my fleeting health? I can't face it. I'm reading this blog, reading about people who have died because they do not have insurance, who have died trying. Will I be one of them?

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